Youth Ministry: Family Based?
Here is my latest post over at Jesus Creed.
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Since I began posting here several months ago I have received a dozen or so requests for me to post on "family-based youth ministry." For those of you who have been requesting this, I think you might be disappointed with this post. Honestly, I have no idea what to say about family based youth ministry. I mean, I know how some are defining it and I think I like the idea of it, generally speaking, but I have no idea what it means to be a family-based youth ministry.
Can somebody help me out with this?
I've read some portions of books and articles, sat in some seminars here and there and I've been in a ton of conversations about the importance of family-based youth ministry. However, I still haven't really witnessed a youth ministry who is truly shaping a family-based youth ministry where the "God-designed structures of the nuclear family and the extended family of the church are helping young people grow toward mature Christian adulthood." I'm not sure I could even begin to explain it in a coherent way
Do I think the family has a role in the spiritual formation of their children? Of course I do. Do I think that the local faith community has a responsibility to create environments for the spiritual formation of others children? Of course I do. Do I think that youth ministries and families need to be in harmony and working together to support one another in our roles and responsibilities? Of course I do. Do I know how to structure a youth ministry in such a way that does this effectively? Of course I don't. Does anybody?
Can someone help me better understand what it looks like for a youth ministry to be family-based? For those of you who are in the process of shaping family-based youth ministries, what does it look like? I mean, what kinds of things are you doing that are different than the "conventional" youth ministry models?
So, I thought that rather than trying to reveal my ignorance on the issue, I'd rather sit back and learn from those of you who are doing it. Here are some questions that I would love some thoughts on (and so would the group of people who've requested this theme).
• Is there a need for a youth pastor/worker in a family-based model?
• What does discipleship/formation look like in a family-based model?
• How do you go about this in cooperation with the other staff or workers in your church (for example, the children's ministry)
• How does the 'youngish' in age youth pastor/worker even lead parents of teenagers toward such a model? (Of course, I am assuming that there is a need for a youth pastor/worker in such a model.)
• Does it work? Do you have any 'success' stories to share? What defines success?
• Where might I go to get some really good help on better understanding what family-based youth ministry is?
• How do the youth in your faith community feel about family-based youth ministry?
Again, I'd really love to be informed on this topic. I long for youth ministries to be more proactive in working with the family in process of spiritual formation of youth for the mission of God and I think there are many others like me out there. Help! Where do we go with this?
Hear It Loud
Some of you know that I am a fan of CNN's Young People Who Rock blog. Usually, Nicole Lapin finds some really great stories of people under the age of 30 doing some remarkable things. A couple of weeks ago, Lapin made us all aware of Sean Forbes, a deaf musician who founded a non-profit called Deaf Performing Artists' Network (D-PAN for short) formed to make music and music culture accessible to the deaf and hard of hearing community by creating deaf-centric interpretations of songs and music videos. Pretty cool stuff...
Some of you also know that I have a son who is deaf. Luke will be 4 this May. He loves music (You should hear him scream into the mic on Wii HS Musical -- its hilarious!) but can't ever frickin' hear it and it kills me when everyone else is singing along in our mini-van on a road trip or whatever and he has no idea what is going on.
Luke wears a hearing aid in his left ear so he can hear some. However, it is very likely that Luke's hearing is progressively getting worse. So I am digging Sean Forbes' D-PAN. You can read the post about Sean HERE and check out D-PAN HERE.
Meet my son Luke. That is a bowling ball not a gumball.
Things Said That Keep Me Going
After spending part of the previous evening in the hospital for some routine testing, me son Drew (pictured below in the yellow shirt) came down the stairs for breakfast looking a little tired, sad and glum. Here is how the conversation went...
ME: "Drew! How are you feeling this morning buddy?"
DREW: "Hi Dad. Do I have school today?"
ME: "Yep, you sure do have school today."
DREW: "Then I don't feel so well."
That simple converstion has been giving me life for the last day and a half!
Waiting, Waiting and Waiting…
My family is in transition. As many of you already know, we packed up our moving PODS last week, said goodbye to our friends in IL and have made our way towards our new home in Overland Park, KS.
We are waiting for our new home (rental) to have all the necessary things done such as carpet cleaning, etc., before we move in. We are also awaiting the delivery of our belongings which we hope arrive sometime this coming week!
In the midst of all this waiting my family has had some much needed connection time. We've been staying at one of Youthfront Camp West and my kids and I have just had a blast playing indoor kickball, going down the water slide, eating ice cream in the snack shack, swimming in the pool, etc.
I hate the waiting, but I love the family time! I have been taught over the last couple of days that the waiting is all worth it. I have also learned that I need to be in "waiting" mode a whole bunch more. By waiting mode I simply mean putting aside everything to focus on my family. How are you doing with focusing on your family? Recently, I haven't been doing well...
Update on Luke
A few months ago I posted re: my son's recently identified hearing loss. You can read the post HERE.
Thanks to all of you who have prayed for him! I am happy to say that Luke is doing just fine. He is adjusting well. I am very proud of him. He has been attending school each morning where he works diligently on his speech and interaction with other students.
It is amazing how much difference a hearing aid makes! His world is completely different. Again, thanks for all of your prayers and the many emails inquiring about how he is doing.
I am becoming bilingual!
I have always wanted to learn another language. I have played around with French and Spanish, never sticking to either one of them, so I know enough to sound stupid. I also learned a few cuss words in German from my old man too. Now (starting tomorrow night), however, I am beginning to learn sign language.
My wife and I just learned that my son Luke (he is soon to turn 3) is hearing impaired. Luke is most likely 100% deaf in his right ear and the doctors think he has about 30% capacity in his left ear. A few months ago we began noticing that he wasn't hearing us real well and his speach development was a lot further behind than his bigger brother and sister at this stage in their lives. We decided to take him in a few weeks ago for testing and sure enough, we heard from the doctor what we thought we might. We have since learned that there is a possibility that his hearing is progressively getting worse, therefore, we decided it would be important to learn sign language.
My wife Gina has been signing for years. She learned it while ago in high school in order to serve in the deaf ministry in her home church. The class we are taking will be a refresher for her. For me, it is a brand new thing. I am a bit anxious about it to be completely honest.
Anyway, I would appreciate your prayers for my son and if you have a hearing impaired child (or first hand experience with a parent, sibling, friend, etc.) I would also appreciate any advice you might be kind enough to give.
Although saddened for Luke, we are grateful that he is healthy, well and such a wonderful kid! We are blessed...
The Next Hire…
I had a conference call this morning with the senior leadership team and youth pastor (not on the senior lead. team) of a new but rapidly growing church here in the greater Chicago area. Very nice people. Great hearts and an obvious passion to see people live, love and lead in the way of Jesus.
I was first introduced to this church when they attended our Enroute Learning Experience over a year ago. I have had the privilege of sharing in their journey from a distance as they update my with emails and phone calls. I would name the church (because I think it is such a cool place!) but the senior leader asked me not too, which is also very cool...
The church is only a couple years old but has grown from 50 people to about 350 people in less than two years. They are not trying to build a huge church and they do not see numbers as important -- other than the fact that they need to move forward with expanding their staff in order to best serve the people. So, numbers are important to them but only in the context of being sure they are laying the foundation and basis for a staff community that can truly serve people. I get a very cool vibe from these folks...
It is an innovative church really seeking to discover ways to (these are my words to follow) help people belong to a community, recognize and experience God in the journey of life and join the others in the community as they seek to join God in his mission to restore the world.
The main issue they wanted me to help them think through was specifically related to their growing youth ministry. Here is the question they asked, "What do you think about us hiring a mature adult, maybe a man or women in their late 40's to early 50's, who has raised teens to come along side our youth pastor for mentoring? This person would give the bulk of their time to investing into the parents of the children and teens in our church, helping them to realize the importance of their active role in their kids' formation. What do you think about that?"
Wow! What a great question! I was speechless -- truly a momentary loss of words. I was totally expecting the normal next hire staff positions to be thrown out. You know, the worship person, the outreach person, the programming person, the creative arts person, the administrative person, etc. But no! One of only a few times in my consulting experience this church came to me with the very idea I was going recommend to them. Very fun. Once I shook out the absence of words in my head, I said, "Great idea! Let me know if you need help finding this person." And then we talked more about what this person would do, the advantages to the position and the disadvantages, etc...
I was deeply encouraged by this phone call. (I know my friend, Mark Riddle would be too. Mark, I wish you would have been on the line with me!) What a great move -- hiring a person who has raised teens to mentor the youth pastor and invest their time primarily in inspiring and equipping parents in order to see themselves as (and be effective at being) the critical piece to helping their own children grow spiritually.
So, this made me curious. Are any of you thinking along these lines? Would this be your next hire? Has it already been your "next" strategic hire?
Not a typical day @ work…
I brought my son to the office with me today. I asked him, "Drew, do you want to go to work with me today?" He said, "Yes! I love the hot chocolate at Starbucks!" Apparently he is aware of my satellite office location too... It is not much of a secret anymore.
We stopped on the way to my real office and he and I indulged...
Having Drew with me this morning was a joy. It was work -- but it was unbelievably delightful. I really didn't get much done, of course. I managed about a 20 minute phone conversation with my friend Topher from YouthFront while Drew committed himself to putting Kix and mini-pretzels into the middle drawer of my desk.
I mostly cleaned up spills, scrubbed red crayon out of the carpet and played computer games all morning. Quite fun actually...
On the way to meet his mom and brother for lunch he said, "Dad. Thanks for remembering me today." "What do you mean, 'remembering' you today?" I said, as I looked at him in the rear view mirror. He said, "Thanks for playing with me at your work."
Today was a sweet day. I am reminded of what really matters most.
Brain-based Teaching
I'm in Orlando today connecting with a potential employee for Sonlife. For some reason the hotel I am staying in had delivered to them the Sunday edition of the Orlando Sentinel today (Monday)! Somebody made a mistake somewhere down the line...
It actually ended up being cool. I found an article on brain-based teaching. I haven't really heard much about brain-based teaching but it is very interesting. Click the image below to go to the online article...
The basic idea of this relatively new teaching technique is that teachers do their best to stimulate as many of the areas of the brain as possible in order to help the students better remember the lesson. Teachers also try to ensure they are stimulating both sides of the brain. The left side of the brain controls word formation while the right side of the brain controls abstract reasoning. So, instead of using a more rote method of helping a lesson stick with the student, teachers might lead the class in singing all 50 states and students might learn punctuation by running-- slowing down at commas and stopping at periods. I guess that gives new meaning to run-on sentences, eh? Anyway, I thought that the article was intriguing for several reasons. 1) I have a daughter in first grade and I am curious what type of new teaching techniques are emerging 2) we work with the children's ministry at our church a bit and 3) I am always looking to the educational system to see what ideas I can rip for working with children and students within the context of the church.
I am not sure how different this method of teaching is then what most of us might simply call 'experiential learning' but I am sure there is a ton of help that the church can get from the educational system. Read the article...
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-brainteach
...you might find it helpful and it might stimulate you to think about new ways to work with your students. Let me know what you think. You can email me at chrisfol@mac.com.
Can a home be a house of God?
This morning there was a very interesting article in one of the regional newspapers here in the greater Chicago area -- The Daily Herald. I was intrigued mostly by the research from Barna found within as well as some of the comments from various staff at area mega-churches.
If this home church concept continues to emerge and becomes the primary model of faith communities gathering to worship as twenty somethings and those in their thirties age, what happens to the many modern youth ministry models out there? What does youth ministry look like within this 'simple church' paradigm? Does youth ministry go away? What do we need to change now to be ready? What must we do to prepare ourselves for a new kind of church? I would love your thoughts...
DOWNLOAD THE ARTICLE HERE: daily-herald.pdf
