Youth Ministry: If I were to do it again…
I was a youth pastor for 13 years. Today, I am active in youth ministry as a volunteer at The Church of the Resurrection near my home in Kansas City but most of my contribution to youth ministry these days is through training, writing, speaking and consulting.
Recently, I was sharing some thoughts regarding the future of youth ministry with a group of local lead and executive pastors. I was asked, “If you were to go back and do youth ministry again, as you once did, how would what you know now change how you would lead a youth ministry?” I had a few items off the top of my head (some are listed below) but I pointed them all to this post for a more robust list of things I might do differently. So, if I were to go back and lead a youth ministry again I would...
- Act theologically before methodologically
- Be more of a spiritual director than a program director
- Hire a parent to be a part of our youth staff
- Spend more time investing in interns/co-pastors
- Experiment with more learner-centered education models
- Ask less of my volunteers and yet equip them more
- Communicate change to the church leaders, staff and parents more
- Create more opportunities for students to “learn up” instead of me “teaching down”
- Celebrate the successes in the lives of students with greater regularity and intensity
- Worry less about the retreat themes and spend more time with the students on the retreats.
- Take students on way more spiritual retreats
- Work hard to be more collaborative with the youth workers in my city
- Take more time off to be with my wife and kids
- Be more intentional with a confirmation process
- Find time to laugh and play more
- Be more grace-filled with students who were goofing off and causing trouble
- Try to learn more from the staff instead of thinking I have all the answers
- Take the criticism of others more seriously and less defensively
- Meet with my spiritual director more often
- Take personal retreats more often
- Be way more missional and a lot less attractional in my approach or model
- Try and get more pulpit time to advocate for the students in the church and community
- Pray more and develop a team of people to pray with
- Provide inspiring training for the parent of the students
- Call the students to greater levels of holiness
- Spend a lot more time creating opportunities for students to practice justice
- Allow the more artistic students opportunities to express themselves and their love for God.
- Teach much more conversationally
- Try to enter into the joy, pain, loss, doubt, hurt, etc. of the students and their families
If I spend some more time thinking I am sure I could come up with a list of a whole lot more things I would do differently. If you are a youth pastor/worker, what are some things you have learned to do differently from when you began until now? If you are a former youth pastor/worker, what are some things that you would do differently?
Youth Ministry: Family Based?
Here is my latest post over at Jesus Creed.
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Since I began posting here several months ago I have received a dozen or so requests for me to post on "family-based youth ministry." For those of you who have been requesting this, I think you might be disappointed with this post. Honestly, I have no idea what to say about family based youth ministry. I mean, I know how some are defining it and I think I like the idea of it, generally speaking, but I have no idea what it means to be a family-based youth ministry.
Can somebody help me out with this?
I've read some portions of books and articles, sat in some seminars here and there and I've been in a ton of conversations about the importance of family-based youth ministry. However, I still haven't really witnessed a youth ministry who is truly shaping a family-based youth ministry where the "God-designed structures of the nuclear family and the extended family of the church are helping young people grow toward mature Christian adulthood." I'm not sure I could even begin to explain it in a coherent way
Do I think the family has a role in the spiritual formation of their children? Of course I do. Do I think that the local faith community has a responsibility to create environments for the spiritual formation of others children? Of course I do. Do I think that youth ministries and families need to be in harmony and working together to support one another in our roles and responsibilities? Of course I do. Do I know how to structure a youth ministry in such a way that does this effectively? Of course I don't. Does anybody?
Can someone help me better understand what it looks like for a youth ministry to be family-based? For those of you who are in the process of shaping family-based youth ministries, what does it look like? I mean, what kinds of things are you doing that are different than the "conventional" youth ministry models?
So, I thought that rather than trying to reveal my ignorance on the issue, I'd rather sit back and learn from those of you who are doing it. Here are some questions that I would love some thoughts on (and so would the group of people who've requested this theme).
• Is there a need for a youth pastor/worker in a family-based model?
• What does discipleship/formation look like in a family-based model?
• How do you go about this in cooperation with the other staff or workers in your church (for example, the children's ministry)
• How does the 'youngish' in age youth pastor/worker even lead parents of teenagers toward such a model? (Of course, I am assuming that there is a need for a youth pastor/worker in such a model.)
• Does it work? Do you have any 'success' stories to share? What defines success?
• Where might I go to get some really good help on better understanding what family-based youth ministry is?
• How do the youth in your faith community feel about family-based youth ministry?
Again, I'd really love to be informed on this topic. I long for youth ministries to be more proactive in working with the family in process of spiritual formation of youth for the mission of God and I think there are many others like me out there. Help! Where do we go with this?
