Good post. I am 28 and do not really have a mentor. It seems that life experiences sometimes shatter our ability to gain (or even trust) a mentor. I am speaking in the wake of youth ministry comrads who are experiencing divorce, separation and broken hearts. When things like this happen you wonder who you can or cannot trust.

Another issue I see in my own experience is that of pride. Antithetical to Christ is the concept that we (because of experience, seminary training, etc.) think we can figure it all out or have already done so. We have a shelf of books in our libraries, a wall filled with degrees and a following that would rival any Dave Matthew’s Band concert (ok…last one is a bit of a stretch). But all these “things” really amount to nothing when life-experience is not put in the prayers of another saint.

I appreciate much of the St. Benedictine literature and practices where authentic community was essential to the group’s success. Accountability was maintained and discipline (all be it hilarious) was crucial. Perhaps we need to go “ancient” and learn from saints in the past to help us to cope with issues in the present.

Al lthat to say…I am in need of authentic mentoring.

Mentoring seems to be such a foreign concept to the faith communities that have accepted me. The typical response to a request for a mentor relationship has been a mix of mild enthusiasm and apprehension. The enthusiasm seems to come from a recognition that mentoring is an essential part of the Christian faith and that the person requesting mentoring has shown value in a leaders relationship and/or abilities. The apprehension comes from a lack of knowledge about “how to” mentor and examining the request in term of what will it cost in time and energy.

With all this said, I have found a mentor who was first a friend and now my pastor. Our mentor relationship is working because he treats me as peer even though he clearly has more knowledge and experience than I do. And our relationship consists of occasional meals, casual and intentional conversations about life and ministry, email and blogging. It probably requires about one or two hours out of our week along with being in the same faith community. So mentoring doesn’t require a lot of skill, time or energy. It just requires opening ones life up to another and to share the knowledge that you have about ministry.

So I think that you are on an essential issue that the church needs to overcome. We need to cultivate a culture of mentoring in our faith communities in order to pass on wisdom, give guidance through life transitions and to be able to raise up the next generation of leadership.

Do you think professional ministry hinders the cultivation of mentoring in the local church? Do you think that youth ministry suffers because the community pushes the responsibility of mentoring onto a lead pastor?

After much thought, I feel there were two things that prevented the more senior pastors from mentoring me. 1) They didn’t feel they had time/didn’t make it a priority. 2) They felt I was competent enough to get the job done, and besides there are people who don’t know Jesus.

Thanks for this post Chris. It is nice to know I am not the only one that has struggled with wanting someone to speak into my life, yet not finding anyone.